8 years ago today, as I was moments away from getting married, my father-in-law, who has been married over 50 years, and who is one the greatest men I have ever known, approached me with what seemed like a word of advice about marriage: "So, you ready to hang yourself, man?" WHAT!!!??? We both laughed hard. He continued, ""You ready for your funeral, I mean your marriage...same thing!" Then, my groomsmen joined in: "Manny, even though we are on the second floor, and there are bars over these windows, I think we can still get through 'em if you change your mind. Just let us know, playa, and we got you!" The room kept erupting with laughter as the fellas teased me about the big day. The men prayed, then appeared before the full congregation of smiling faces.
Standing there waiting to be joined by my Alice, I began thinking about the very first time I saw her at UC Berkeley. I'll never forget the visitation of that power to my heart and brain, which created all things new; which was the dawn in me of music, poetry and art; which made the face of nature radiant with breathtaking light; when I seemed to myself wholly changed from what I was before; when a single tone of her voice made my heart beat, and the most trivial circumstance was put in the amber of memory; when I knew not how to express my devotion to so fair a form; when I wanted a brighter word than bright, and a fairer word than fair; when I became all eye when she was present; and all memory when she was gone. My Alice.
My daydream was interrupted by, "Here Comes the Bride..." and alas! There she was! My Alice. My heart stopped. So did my breathing. Like an angel, Alice was adorned with such perfection. A tear formed at the corner of my eye, reiterating how very thankful I was to God for blessing me with such a gift.
After she joined me, I don't think we ever took our eyes off of each other, except for the few times we needed to interact with the pastor.
Before God, our family, and close friends, we made a covenant to love each other. The vows were exchanged. I was first: "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part." My words were barely heard by the congregation, because I was speaking to My Alice. They were perhaps the most meaningful words I have ever uttered. When Alice's turn came to repeat the vows, she tearfully spoke.
You could feel the emotion charged behind the words; it wasn't simply a recitation. It was two hearts pouring out words that meant more to us than simply speaking them could show. It was one of the most powerful moments in my life; power in frailty.
Eight years have passed since that day, and so much has changed. I have changed in so many ways. I'm much more focused, more serious. I have a more generous waist-line, and a lot more gray hair. I'm not as naive as I used to be. I have responsibilities to provide for my family, protect them, prepare them for life, and be a priest who prays for and shepherds them. So much has changed.
My Alice has changed in some ways as well. She is no longer just my wife, she is now a mother. Much of her time is spent making sure our house is in order, our boys are taken care of, all while juggling the many things that are on her plate.
The fact is, we have two boys (and a little girl on the way) who take up most of our time. Most of these days are devoted to packing baby bags, hanging out in play-areas, feeding, changing, comforting, affirming, and teaching our boys. While we love our boys to death, we'd both be telling a story if we said we don't miss "Manny and Alice's World" sometimes.
You see, life has a way of making you grow up, change, evolve, and adapt. We have had our share of better and WORSE, health and SICKNESS, richer and POORER- mountains and valleys.
With so much that has changed, there is one thing that has stayed the same: how much I still love my Alice. I love her more now than I did on that day 8 years ago. She is more beautiful, more fun, more fantastic, and more amazing. She is still the sugar in my kool-aid, the apple in my pie, and the crust on my peach cobbler. She still lights my fire and melts my butter. She is still the apotheosis of beauty. She is still more beautiful than a summer's day. She is still more dear to me than my own heart's blood. She is still MY ALICE.